It’s impossible to avoid challenging moments in life, but having the tools to navigate them can greatly impact how you recover.
As the daughter of music icon Diana Ross, Tracee Ellis Ross has spent most of her life in the spotlight. Tracee’s own career path led her to becoming an award-winning actress and co-CEO of the haircare company she created, Pattern Beauty.
Ross discussed how she perseveres when faced with challenges on a recent episode of the “Aspire with Emma Grede” podcast. “I’ve had to be my funniest on my worst days. I have a life where sometimes I have to be beautiful on days when I feel horrible,” Ross said.
She recalled a time when she was taping an episode of the TV show, “Girlfriends,” after the passing of her step-father.
“We let go of the studio audience, but I continued to show up,” Ross explained. “I remember learning something in my cells, that there is, for me, always a place and a part of me that is okay.”
Ross didn’t negate her feelings of shock and sadness, but she tapped into a different part of herself to keep showing up, she said. During difficult moments, she shared that she is softer with herself and gives herself grace.
“Give it space, give it voice, let it be heard by somebody who can hold it with love,” Ross said. Then, she speaks to herself compassionately by using “May I” statements.
“I use the “May I’s” by the way, not the “I am’s,” Ross said. It “feels like it honors where I am, and invites me where I wanna go.”
When Ross is navigating tough periods in life, she uses affirmations like “May I lean into the part of me that is deeply grateful for this event that I’m going to, for this opportunity?” or “May I be of service in this moment?”
Engaging in positive self-talk can be great for improving your emotional endurance, Columbia University-trained psychologist Becky Kennedy told CNBC Make It in August. Research shows speaking to yourself positively can help you become more mentally strong and improve your ability to cope with challenges.
“Self-talk is very powerful. How we end up feeling about something is a combination of the feeling and how we talk to ourselves about the feeling, and we can’t change our feelings, but we can change how we talk to ourselves about our feelings,” Kennedy said.
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