Giving yourself adequate care and attention is important for you to feel your best.
“Self-care is something that we need to do on a regular basis, that helps us relax and helps us recharge,” says Stephanie Sarkis, a psychotherapist and author.
Acts of self-care can prioritize different areas of well-being like physical activity, spirituality or socialization, she tells CNBC Make It.
But it’s pretty easy for self-care to become escapism.
“Escapism is when you’re doing things because you’re trying to avoid something,” Sarkis says. “Whether it’s an event or a feeling, you’re doing those things because they take up time that you otherwise would have to confront [something].”
That can look like mindless scrolling on social media or even healthy activities like going to the gym, she says. Typically, people lean into escapism to avoid following through on obligations like cleaning the house or completing a project, or having challenging conversations.
“It’s doing the thing instead, that is the escapism. Doing it because is self-care,” Sarkis says.
People can often confuse the two, she explains, but there are some distinct differences. Here’s how you can differentiate self-care from escapism.
Self-care or escapism? Here’s how to spot the difference
Consider how what you’re doing makes you feel
The same activity could be viewed as self-care or escapism depending on how it makes you feel. Let’s use reading as an example.
“You could do it as a self-care strategy, like ‘Hey, I’ve had a long day. I think I just need to sit with a book a little bit and read something and just unwind,'” Sarkis says.
“Escapism is, ‘I gotta call these people for work, and I really don’t want to do it. I think I’ll read instead.'”
When you’re doing something for self-care, you’ll feel more grounded, present, relaxed and better about life in general, she notes. While escapism tends to make people feel regret, remorse or even anger at themselves.
Ask yourself these 3 questions
If you’re unsure what your intention is before engaging in an activity, Sarkis says it could be helpful to ask yourself a few questions:
Does it feel like I’m avoiding, or does it feel like I need to do this because it’s important to check in with myself?Am I doing this because I want to enrich myself, or am I doing this because I need to check out for a while?Am I doing this as almost a form of dissociation, or am I doing this to be more present?
“When you are escaping, your brain may be still on that task that you’re supposed to be doing, or that event or trauma you need to work on,” Sarkis says.
“But when you’re doing it for self-care, you’re actually able to be more present and be aware that you’re doing it.”
To shift out of escapism, focus on what you can change
Some level of escapism every now and then is fine, and should be expected, Sarkis says. “It might actually be appropriate for the moment, until we can collect our thoughts,” she notes.
“Maybe you can change it into a self-care activity [by] letting go of the shame and blame, and looking at it more as, ‘I deserve to take a rest.'”
But frequent escapism can be a sign of chronic stress, Sarkis says. When you’re avoiding tasks constantly, it can indicate that you feel out of control of your life, with too many things on your plate.
Constantly seeking an escape from your reality can have long-term consequences like “an erosion of self-esteem, because you’re not dealing with the things you need to deal with,” she says.
“You may have increased cortisol levels. You may have some physical effects from it, because you aren’t taking care of the thing that you should be taking care of. And that stuff can stack up on us, not only emotionally, but physically as well. It can lead to missed deadlines. [And] it can lead to maybe not fully participating in your life.”
To shift out of practicing escapism too often, you should first ask yourself why you’re engaging in it in the first place, Sarkis suggests.
Then, consider which resources or support systems you can tap into to help you break out of it, whether that means talking to a mental health professional for guidance, speaking with your supervisor about managing your workload or hiring a specialist to help you declutter your home.
“It’s really examining, ‘What things can I change?'” Sarkis says.
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