It can be hard to see other couples’ fancy vacations, expensive gifts for each other, and Michelin star dinner dates without feeling as though you aren’t doing enough to keep the spark alive in your own relationship.
Yet, as both a psychologist who studies couples and as a husband, I always encourage people to inject novelty into their relationship. Thankfully, fun comes in a variety of shapes, sizes, and price-points. And often, the most meaningful forms cost $0.
Here’s what the happiest, most successful couples do for fun — that most others neglect.
1. They go on ‘micro-adventures’
Not every couple has the time or budget to hop on a plane whenever they feel like shaking things up. But that doesn’t stop happy couples from finding adventure. They just do it locally.
Research shows that “micro-adventures” (think: staycations, day trips, or even discovering a new coffee shop across town) can bring just as much joy as big vacations.
They explore their city like tourists. They hit the trails, visit bookstores, museums, or check out that weird roadside attraction. The idea is to make the ordinary feel novel.
2. They do their own hobbies, side by side
You love reading. Your partner is into video games. It might not seem like a match made in heaven — until you realize you can do them together, separately.
Psychologists call this “parallel play”: when couples do their own thing, but in the same space. Instead of forcing shared interests, you’re just creating shared presence.
As a result, couples can easily stay bonded without burning themselves out. Low-pressure, comfortable companionship supports deeper intimacy just as much as active socialization can.
3. They make time for ‘their thing’
Yes, doing your own thing is important. But research shows that shared hobbies and rituals are strongly linked to relationship satisfaction.
This doesn’t mean starting a couple’s podcast or training for a marathon (unless you want to). For most couples, it’s as simple as a standing game night, a Sunday morning walk, or a favorite TV show they only watch together.
The point is consistency. These small shared rituals become something to look forward to, no matter how busy life gets.
4. They turn boring tasks into play
Errands. Laundry. Dishes. Not exactly romantic. For working couples or couples with kids, it can be especially hard to find time for fun. This is why researchers agree that intentional playfulness should be a priority.
The happiest couples I know are good at “hijacking” the mundane. If they’re stuck with a boring chore or task, they’ll find a playlist or a show to put on in the background to spice it up. And if they’re out of the house running errands, they’ll turn it into an opportunity for a little game or competition.
They ensure that laughter and silliness is always on the agenda, even if it happens to overlap with their other tasks.
5. They honor their old traditions
Remember your first date? That inside joke you used to have? That song that used to be “yours”?
So many people look back nostalgically at the early days of their relationship and think about how easy and simple it was to have fun. But happy couples know that the thrill of the honeymoon phase never has to end if they continue to honor it.
Research shows that rituals play an integral part of relationship satisfaction, quality, and intimacy. Happy couples leverage this by giving the activities that once brought them together a cherished place in their relationship.
Make it a point to talk, dream, and joke with your partner in the same playful, coy ways you did when you first met. It will keep things fun while simultaneously honoring the many ways your relationship came to be.
Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org.
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