This holiday season, the world feels heavy. There’s war, political division, and economic uncertainty converging to weigh us down — on top of the emotional and financial stressors people often experience this time of year.
One report found that 60% of Americans felt stressed heading into the holiday season. Forty-one percent of adults said they expected an increase in holiday stress compared with last year, according to data from the American Psychiatric Association. Another survey found that nearly seven in ten people feel pressure to appear happier than they really are.
So much for happy holidays. It might feel tempting to lean into your inner Grinch, but there is a more realistic middle ground. The World Happiness Report consistently ranks Nordic countries like Finland and Denmark at the top of its list, not because people describe feeling ecstatic or euphoric, but because they report high life satisfaction rooted in stability, security, and low chronic stress.
Instead of putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to feel extra happy during the holidays, work on finding “happyish.” You can do that by practicing micro-actions — like tiny mood resets — that help interrupt stress patterns in the brain at a scale most people can manage.
Here are 12 tiny but meaningful, research-backed micro-actions to help you feel happyish this holiday season:
Label it. When you feel off or overwhelmed, pause and name the emotion. Even a simple label activates part of the brain that helps regulate stress, which in turn calms the threat response. It is a quick way to steady yourself before the feeling takes over.Appreciate people. Instead of listing stuff you’re grateful for, like turkey and stuffing, or presents under the tree, direct gratitude toward a specific person. Feeling grateful for your neighbor who shoveled your sidewalk, for example, can help you feel a stronger sense of connection and trust. Notice the positive — or neutral. The brain has a negativity bias, meaning it automatically scans for threat. This is why we tend to notice little annoyances like a driver refusing to let you merge. Try intentionally noticing something neutral or mildly positive to stay positive and reduce conflict.Replay one good thing. Before bed, call back a memory of one single good thing that happened that day. It can be simple like, “My coffee made me feel cozy.” Or, “I had a good laugh with a friend today.” This can help shift attention away from stressors, improve your emotional well-being, and remind you that whatever kind of day you had, you can still count on one good thing to happen.Take a break from comparing and despairing. Instagram’s highlight reels make it easy to slip into feeling like our lives don’t measure up. Labeled “upward social comparison,” it can decrease self-esteem and increase negative emotions. Take breaks from your feed and remind yourself that everyone has good and bad days — no one’s life is perfect. Spend two minutes filling in these blanks: “I may not have [X], but thankfully I have [Y].” Tune in to your senses. Zeroing in on a smell, sound, taste, or texture can quickly bring you back to the present and reduce anxiety. This kind of sensory grounding is great for when you’re in an overwhelming environment like a busy shopping center or a noisy holiday gathering. Offer silent gratitude. Emotions can run high at big, hectic family events. To counter the irritability, try expressing silent gratitude. Say to yourself, “I’m grateful she always shows up,” or, “I can see he’s really trying.” Even unspoken appreciation activates the brain’s social-bonding circuits linked to empathy and positive regard.Plan one tiny act of generosity. Small acts of kindness trigger a release of dopamine, the brain’s reward and motivation chemical. Even simple gestures like dropping a warm drink off to a friend or sincerely thanking a retail worker can boost mood and increase feelings of social connection.Let go of one expectation today. For example, don’t assume your run to the grocery store or mall will be quick. Instead, expect that it will be busy and slow. Then you’ll feel neutral if that’s how it goes, or pleasantly surprised when it’s easier and faster than expected.Do something intentionally slow. Think of it as hitting your internal brake pedal. Slow movements steady your heart and nervous system. Over the holidays, try it while wrapping gifts, stirring something on the stove, or savoring your food. Slow your motion by half. It’s a tiny reset that buffers against that constant holiday hurry. Do a 30-second “awe scan” outdoors. Step outside, look for one small thing that inspires a sense of wonder like the wind in the trees, a bright starry night, or the sparkle of holiday lights. Research on awe shows it reduces your focus on yourself, while increasing connection with others, a sense of meaning, and overall well-being. Celebrate small wins. When you complete even a tiny task, like making your bed in the morning, your brain logs it as progress and builds the expectation that you can take the next step. At the end of the day, congratulate yourself for sending out a card, picking up a gift, or checking one thing off your list. These micro-milestones create momentum, and in a season that feels overwhelming, motivators are key.
These small practices won’t eliminate holiday pressures, but they can help you feel steadier in a season that often demands extra from us. During the holidays, happyish can be enough.
Honest moments and tiny gratitude practices beat layering on expectations and faking joy. You may find that this creates its own kind of merriment, one that feels real and lasting, and offers a healthier foundation for the year ahead.
Jennifer Moss is an international speaker, award-winning journalist and author, workplace culture strategist, and cofounder of the Work Better Institute, a global workforce policy think tank. She is a former member of the Global Happiness Council, in partnership with Gallup and the UN, and contributor to their annual Global Happiness Policy Report. She is the author of three books, including “Unlocking Happiness at Work.”
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