Among happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky’s tips for finding joy are having deep conversations, showing gratitude and performing acts of kindness. All three can make you feel closer to others.
“The key to happiness is feeling loved and feeling connected to other people,” says the distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.
As a mother of four, Lyubomirsky wants to help her kids find joys as well. “That’s what we want most for our kids,” she says, “to be happier.”
Here are her tips for parents who want to raise happier children.
2 tips for raising happier kids
1. Encourage deeper conversations
In her research, Lyubomirsky has found that the No. 1 way to be happier is to feel more connected to people. And a deep, meaningful conversation is the best way to do that.
Having these kinds of conversations is a skill kids can be taught and encouraged to implement in their own relationships, too, whether that be with their friends, their teachers, or anyone else in their life.
She tells her kids to “try to develop curiosity about your friends’ interests, talk to them more and ask them questions,” she says.
2. Don’t forget physical touch
Lyubomirsky would also remind parents of the importance of physical touch and cuddling. It’s “something that, especially as kids grow up, we do even less,” she says.
But research has found that physical touch like hugging and holding is critical for child development.
Lyubomirsky even cuddles her 24-year-old son sometimes. “I think he likes it,” she says.
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