Even the smallest mannerisms can make a huge difference in how you’re perceived by others, especially in the workplace.
The way you hold your arms. How quickly or slowly you talk. The facial expressions you make. These can all play a role in the impression you leave on others, says Vanessa Van Edwards, a behavioral researcher and bestselling author who teaches a Harvard University program on “effective organizational communication.”
“Trust is built — or broken — shockingly fast,” Van Edwards tells CNBC Make It.
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The more trust you build with your colleagues and boss, the more workplace influence you can gain. Some of this comes down to actions: If you collaborate effectively with your colleagues and always get your work done on time, you’ll start to gain a reputation for those things.
Some successful people kickstart the trust-building process with their body language, says Van Edwards, who’s also the instructor of MasterClass’ “People Intelligence” course. Specifically, they use these three subtle physical shifts to exude confidence and competence, she says:
1. ‘Visible hands and eye contact’
Picture this: You approach a colleague for some quick small talk. Their arms are folded and they’re looking around the room while you’re talking, instead of at you. They might just be a little nervous, but you’d probably think they aren’t interested in what you have to say.
“Hiding your hands [and] avoiding eye contact — which can happen accidentally when checking your phone — can instantly erode trust,” says Van Edwards.
If you want to “show openness and engagement” to other people, practice “visible hands and eye contact,” she says. “Try to make eye contact upon approach or in the first few seconds of conversation,” and at the ends of conversations.
You don’t have to stare into someone’s eyes for minutes at a time, Columbia Business School professor and communication expert Michael Chad Hoeppner told CNBC Make It in June. Make the eye contact meaningful — like looking and listening intently when someone is sharing serious or sensitive information, for example — instead of constantly staring, he recommended.
2. ‘Deliberate, calm movements’
When people are anxious or unsure of themselves, they often talk or move more quickly than they normally do, says Van Edwards. Such behaviors — ones that come across as signs of nerves — tend to incur negative judgments from others, found a 2012 psychology study conducted by researchers at Ryerson University.
“Slow your movements. Nervous energy often makes us fidget or rush, but deliberate, calm movements exude control,” Van Edwards advises. “You can also slow your vocal pace and add more pauses. When we pause, we often take in more breath, which helps us feel and sound more calm.”
Adding in some good posture — “maximizing the distance between your ears and shoulders” — can also help you project confidence, adds Van Edwards. And the more you can “convey both confidence and competence,” the more inclined other people are to respect you and look to you for leadership, executive coach Melody Wilding wrote on Aug. 14.
3. Be ‘approachable yet authoritative’
You may feel like gaining influence and respect at work means having a strictly business attitude. Or, you want to be liked at work — so you joke around with your colleagues and downplay your serious side. But trust is built when you balance “warmth and competency,” says Van Edwards.
“[Be] approachable yet authoritative. Don’t feel [like] you have to sacrifice respect to be liked — high performers know they can get both. And apply this in your relationships to others,” she says. “Show warmth by remembering personal details about colleagues and clients and be genuinely happy for people when they share good news.”
If you know your boss loves the New York Yankees, maybe you’ll ask them about the team’s big win at the start of your next one-on-one, for example. Remembering someone’s career goals or communication preferences can be helpful, too, showing you’re an active listener and that you care enough to consider them.
“Small, consistent actions make a big difference,” Van Edwards says.
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