Americans are not eating enough meals together. According to the 2025 World Happiness Report, the optimal number of weekly lunches and dinners eaten with others is 13. And in the United States, people only share 7.9 of those meals together every week.
The picture is even more dire for young Americans.
Researchers looked at data from the American Time Use Survey, “which has a measure for the extent to which people shared meals the previous day,” says Jan-Emmanuel De Neve, professor of economics and behavioral science at the University of Oxford and editor of the report. They found that in 2023, 25% of 18-to 24-year-olds ate all three meals alone the previous day.
“That’s a virtual doubling of what it was two decades ago,” De Neve says, and it’s to the detriment of their mental health. The number of meals shared with others is “as predictive of their life satisfaction, essentially their overall well-being” as their employment status or relative income, he adds.
Here’s why he thinks young people aren’t breaking bread with others, and how they — and their institutions — can ensure they do so more often.
Phones are ‘distracting us from other human beings’
“There’s not a single smoking gun,” says De Neve about the growth of this trend. There are many factors at play, and they’ve been building for decades.
By the year 2000, when social scientist and Harvard University professor Robert Putnam published his book “Bowling Alone,” the U.S. was already seeing an increase in disconnect from family, friends and neighbors. Putnam pointed to changes in work, family structure, suburban life, television and computers as contributors to the decline.
When it comes to 18-to-24-year-olds, the introduction of smartphones and social media in the last two decades has only exacerbated the problem, De Neve says. An overwhelming majority, 98% of 18-to-29-year-olds have a Smartphone, according to a 2024 survey by the Pew Research Center.
Smartphones are “distracting us from other human beings in the room,” he says, “and are also sort of an excuse to not have to talk to people.”
Former U.S. surgeon general Vivek Murthy came to speak at Oxford in 2024. Murthy had just come back from a tour of American college campuses and shared a key observation. “The default now is that you do not speak to people when you go into a dining hall and you sit by yourself,” De Neve says Murthy told them.
Consider having ‘a phone box’ in the bedroom and kitchen
To mitigate the growing lack of shared meals among young people, De Neve offers up some possible solutions.
First, on an individual level, De Neve recommends taking the advice of Harvard Business School professor Arthur Brooks who he says suggests a box in both your bedroom and your kitchen where you put your phone.
“That will force you to be present, and actually having conversations with people,” De Neve says.
On an institutional level, at universities, for example, administrators could consider having “one table in the dining hall which has a no-phone policy,” he says, which signals to students that “if you’re sitting here, you have to strike up a conversation.”
Finally, on a societal level, “we need to work with these social media tech companies,” he says.
While companies like Meta might have started with the intent to strengthen our personal connections, they’ve done the opposite.
Ultimately, De Neves says, it’s time to focus on putting “the ‘social’ back into social media.”
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