Every parent hopes that their child will still come to them years from now to spend time together, share their victories and setbacks, and seek guidance.
As a conscious parenting researcher, I’ve studied more than 200 kids, and I’m a mother myself. This kind of lifelong closeness is built early on in the small, everyday moments that teach a child whether it’s safe to be fully themselves around their parents.
Here are the practices parents should start early on if they want a relationship that lasts well into adolescence and adulthood.
1. Trust them
Children rise to the expectations we set for them. When kids are micromanaged or constantly overcorrected, they can slowly become more resentful or secretive.
Offer trust early and often. Try saying: “I trust you. If anything feels tough, you can come to me.” This trust becomes the foundation they rely on later, when life gets more complicated.
2. Normalize every emotion, not just the pleasant ones
If you want your child to come to you as a teen, they need to learn early that their inner world is safe with you.
When you shut down crying, fear or frustration, your kids may just stop bringing them to you. Validation can sound like: “Everything you feel is allowed here.” Emotional safety now leads to emotional openness later.
3. Stop trying to control who they’re becoming
I’ve seen so many kids pull away from their parents because they feel suffocated by expectations.
Give them space to be curious, loud and weird. Kids stay more connected to the people who allow them to be who they are as they grow older.
4. Accept them fully, especially the parts you don’t understand
Acceptance isn’t the same as agreement. It’s the message: “Who you are is loved and welcome here.”
Children stay close to adults who make room for their whole identity, not just the parts that are easy to parent. When they feel accepted now, they’re less likely to hide themselves later.
5. Repair when you get it wrong
The strongest parent-child relationships are built on repair. Replace “I’m sorry you feel that way” with: “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I’m going to do better.”
When parents take responsibility, they teach children that mistakes don’t break the relationship.
6. Listen more than you talk
Kids are more likely to shut down when they don’t feel heard. So when they share fears or frustrations, they’re usually asking for connection.
Instead of immediately trying to offer a solution, try saying: “Tell me more about that.” Listening builds the bridge they’ll keep crossing as the stakes get higher.
7. Let them disagree without punishment
If a child learns early that disagreement leads to conflict, punishment, or withdrawal of your love, they’ll stop being honest later.
Healthy closeness requires emotional freedom, so when your child disagrees with you, respond with curiosity instead of control. Teach them that honesty is safe and that it will never threaten your bond.
Reem Raouda is a leading voice in conscious parenting and the creator of the BOUND and FOUNDATIONS journals, now offered together as her Holiday Emotional Safety Bundle. She is widely recognized for her expertise in children’s emotional well-being and for redefining what it means to raise emotionally healthy kids. Connect with her on Instagram.
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