It meant I missed the League Cup final, which was a shame because I had played in every game before that in the competition. Gerard showed his class there because I wasn’t in the squad, which meant I didn’t get a medal – but he gave me his on the pitch afterwards.
The same happened a few years later when I’d played a few games early in the Champions League run to Istanbul in 2004-05. Everyone remembers that famous comeback against AC Milan, but Scott Carson offered me his medal in the same way, though I didn’t take that one. It just didn’t feel quite right even though it would’ve been an honour to have it.
I’ve spoken openly in the past about having to leave Liverpool after Rafael Benitez came in. The training regime was different, and I just didn’t quite fit into that for one reason or another. The club signed Pepe Reina too, so it wasn’t a bad swap was it!
I knew I needed to leave. I signed at Wigan Athletic and went on to have a good career elsewhere, even getting an England cap, which I’m extremely proud of. I actually went to collect my legacy cap at Wembley when they played Wales in October and that was a huge honour for me.
I’ve been quite open about my addiction and mental health problems that occurred later in my career and into early retirement. I’ve actually now written a book about it all. I am over three-and-a-half-years clean and I’m very happy to say I feel in a very steady place currently.
It felt important for me to do that and has been hugely therapeutic – if the book was just about my football career I don’t think I would’ve done it. My biggest thing is that I hope that in being open and talking about these things it may help other people, who are battling their own issues with whatever they may be. My wife and my daughter have been my rocks throughout it all.
